Movie Review: High School Musical 2

I'm not going to say it was bad, but I'd rather sit on a turned over lawnmower with hot, hot coals on my nipples with my face in a poop sandwich.

New Bills

So how many times have you needed to pay for something worth around the value of $150 but have had to use a $100 and a few twenties? There is a solution, dear comrades. The $150 bill! This way you don't have to carry so many twenties in your wallet that you are accused of dealing drugs (you scum, you). Hate carrying large bills (such as a $50 and a $100)? Fear not! Our new bill will allow you to feel a false sense of security (having less bills won't stop you from being robbed).

Suggestions made by Jardine and I as to what shall be the portrait on the bill include:
-Pamela Anderson
-Allah
-Ghostface Killah
-Jonathon Taylor Thomas

Suggestions as to the animal on the back of the bill limit to one suggestion thus far:
-Pamela Anderson's beaver

SERIOUSLY VOUCH FOR THIS. I need that false sense of security.

More Haiku Fun

These are all original just so you all know. Yet I have aid from my father on this one. A Haiku is a composition of three line poetry; the first and last line containing five syllables, the middle containing seven.

Marcus* eats worm soup
He likes it warm and juicy
Marcus has problems

I drive a green van**
Problems arise daily
I should ride a bike

I*** don't drive a van
I drive a grey Cadillac
I won't ride a bike

Whispering fall winds
Songs play of the Autumn sky
I once stabbed a man





*Marcus = Captainbeefdank
**1996 Hunter Green Plymouth Voyager SE (please don't steal it... you really don't want it)
***My dad's haiku (he drives a 2007)

The Wonders of the Human Body

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MARKETING PLOY

Visit Marcus' page of excellent college homo-erotica.

Just kidding... its plain ol' straight erotica.

Just kidding... just friggin' go there already

captainbeefdank.blogspot.com

I've never quite seen the human body like that before...

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Late Random Post

Being excited for getting a Nintendo DS when all your friends own X-box 360's now is like being pyched to be the only one on your street to own a 1996 Plymouth Voyager when all the other cars are El Caminos and Chargers.

Also check out www.tv-links.co.uk

And I JUST saw Vanessa Hudgens on the Family Channel doing an interview (post internet curiosity) and a smile overcame my tired face.

History of the 20th c. through the eyes of a Marxist

So basically my Hist 20th c. prof is a self proclaimed Marxist. No joke. Yet he was born in the bible belt of the Southern/Midwest United States. Even sweet: he retains the souther slurred accent. Picture all of this... plus the body of a six foot two Dutch medieval noble and you have Prof. (I guess I should exclude his name). What a guy. His lectures are brilliant. The fire that rages in his voice and the excited-child-on-Christmas eyes show just how proud and honoured he is to be able to shape our impressionable will against the evil, colonial empire that is the United States of America. As yet he ridicules his own beliefs, claiming he went to Marxism basically over a lack of reasonable choice and that got me thinking. What are you choices to believe? This one I'm not going to answer. Hopefully I can get feedback on this one.

What do YOU believe is worth believeing in?





Reminder to self: See mythology prof at 2:15 on Tuesday, 9th

Book Review

The Brand New Month Python Papperbok (spelling correct)

Well this is pretty much what would be expected from a Monty Python book. Its insane. Crude. Has many allegorical and offensive references to the Queen and other members of the royal family, Nixon, Omar Sharif, Pretty much every Italian, the former Soviet Union and the Welsh. But I like it. I laughed like a lunatic and scared the neighbour whilst he walked his dog outside. Some indefinate parts added by the man himself, John Cleese. To name some interesting titles from the mini-stories in the book: Masturbation, The Python book of Etiquette, Biggles is Extremely Silly and the Oxfod Simplified Dictionary. Well saying anymore would completely ruin the point of reading it. It's good. Borrow it from me because I have NO idea where you will get it.

Good Luck

This is new to me... and other tasty morsels

1)
Well its true... I have a blog. Some one help me please.

Anyways... I recently saw this show about vampires (played by a buff, I-haven't-shaved-recently sort of actor) called Moonlight. A little cliche; colloquial in all its forms. The vampire's profession: dectective. But I liked this show. Now either I have fallen into a mind status that includes enjoying modern popular culture or this is a genuinely interesting show. Typical of the brainwashing I have been witness to as of late from the popular television shows on the large networks. What are all the major themes of the best rated shows today (not including single events like sports games, award shows)? Criminal shows or military (post 9-11) dramas. The era of Hospital love scenes has ended. Sci-fi? dead. Shows like CSI (in all its various forms), Criminal Minds, Prison Break, the Unit. Shows I watch. They are, in one form or another, propaganda. Pro-military, Pro-FBI, Pro-Law enforcement. Sure I enjoy protection as much as the next obedient subscriber to this race we call humankind, but isn't it strange hosw the morals all seem to add up to the same thing. Listen to Order. Listen to Law. Don't fight it. Sure shows like Criminal Minds and CSI actually do have a good vs. bad theme, yet I just cannot seem to get over it. All I see is pro-American nonsense. Now I duck for fear of red dots lining my windows searching for a clean shot. Bite me, American public. This rant is over.

2)
If you believe...:
-The Earth is less than 4000 years old
-God is the commander of all morals, beings, things, actions, events
-Bush is smarter/more handsome than me
-Gun laws from the 1700's are legit today
-An immigrant is looking for your job
-You have any more reason for believing in a savior executed 2000 years ago than believing that your savior is a clone of Don Johnson circa Nash Bridges clean shaven in a burlap bag full of
wood-ticks
-The Great War had a reason
-Vietnam had a reason
-Iraq has a reason
-Dick Cheney won't shoot someone else
-I'm evil for pointing out the flashing, strobe light that is the obvious

...The you are probably a Republican



Good Night, lost souls of earth!